When you were six, what did you want to be?

For some of us it was an astronaut, for others a hairdresser, a doctor, an explorer… For me, it was a mermaid! This continued for quite a while. I remember practising holding my breath underwater and trying to grow my hair long enough to cover my boobs!

I was always envious of people who knew what they wanted to be when they were younger and stuck with it. They had clarity and direction and know what they wanted to be. I still struggle, at the age of 46, to know what I want to be when I grow up.

The thing is though, life isn’t static and neither are we. Sometimes, we’re so busy supporting other people’s dreams and ambitions we lose sight of our own. When people ask us what are our goals, we just don’t know anymore. We think back to what we were ‘supposed’ to want to be or do. What other people’s expectations were of us. But we’re just not that person anymore.

We are not the same person we were last week, let alone last decade. We change, we grown. Sometimes that means we outgrow interests, hobbies, goals, friendships and relationships, and that’s okay. We expend a lot of energy trying to hang onto things we’ve outgrown because sometimes it’s easier to do that than admit they no longer serve us.

We don’t have to look inwards to find out who we are either. It’s our inward reflection on our outward experiences that can help us to rediscover that. What makes you smile? Who gives you energy? When are you at your best?

You do need to invest time and effort into doing this though. Letting go of who you think you should be, and figuring out who you are now means taking some time out for yourself. Sometimes this looks like trying new things, other times it’s simply doing some thinking.

In October 2021, I invested time and money in going one on Jo’s brilliant Find Your Flow weekends. There was SUP and coaching and thinking time. During that weekend I made a throw-away comment about taking a sabbatical when coming up with solutions for my current work challenges. I didn’t think too much about it at the time. In the new year of 2022, I again invested in another course. This time a writing course. During this, I came across an exercise that raised the idea of taking a sabbatical again. From February – August 2022 I researched and saved and got my year long sabbatical agreed, starting from September 2022.

It was taking the time to rediscover myself and what matters to me (and why) that enabled me to take a decision I just wouldn’t have come to without creating that thinking time for me. Now, I’ve created an opportunity to rest and recover from a really tough couple of years, to spend focussed time with my boys, and to work on my business. The time I invested in rediscovering myself led me here.

So rediscovering yourself isn’t about a trip to the past, but rather a trip to the now. Getting to know yourself again as you are now, rather than any historical or future version of you. You now. Perfectly imperfect and ready for the world.

See you on the next weekender,

Jane x