If you know, you know, right? Well, maybe not. Maybe realising that you’ve lost yourself along the way is a slow awakening.

How many of us suddenly realise that we’ve spent so long doing the ‘should’s we’ve forgotten all about the ‘could’s.

Think back to when you were younger. Did you know what made you feel good? Did you know what made you laugh? Did you know what you wanted to be when you grew up (before everyone told you could couldn’t possibly be an astronaut/ explorer/ hairdresser/ popstar…)?

Somewhere along the way we are told to grow up, to act our age, to not be so full of ourselves. We are told it’s wrong to put our own desires, dreams and ambitions first. So we put them last. At some point we get on with the business of being a grown up. 

There are so many reasons why we might find ourselves lost. So many reasons why we put ourselves at the bottom of our to-do list. Do any of these sound familiar to you?:

• I have no energy to do the things I love (especially by the time I’ve helped everyone else do theirs)
• I prioritise other people and their priorities
• I feel a bit like I go through life on autopilot
• Time keeps whizzing by and before I know it, another day, week, month, year has gone by without doing those things I knew I wanted to
• I have the same bucket list things that never seem to get planned in or done
• When I do have free time, I feel so guilty that I fill it with chores (or other people’s crap!)
• I am too scared to reflect incase I realise just how much time I’ve wasted
• My caring responsibilities get in the way
• My boundaries are like butter, they melt as soon as anyone applies any heat to them
• I fill my time with the day-to-day drudgery 

Did you find yourself nodding along as you read them? Perhaps saying ‘yup’ or ‘that’s me’ in your mind as you went through the list? You’re not alone. 

So many women reach a point of midlife awakening and realise that they have lost themselves along the way. That clarity about what was important to us, what mattered, what we wanted to prioritise has been replaced by an urgency created for us by other people’s priorities, by ‘should’s and by the murmurings of the inner critic telling you that you really shouldn’t be putting yourself first.

We are here to change that. We believe that you can find yourself again, your true self, in amongst the day-to-day. Our magic power is giving women the time and space to reignite their spark. And here is the really magic bit: you are in control of that.

When you’ve spent so long de-prioritising yourself, it can be hard to get back in the habit of paying yourself attention, so you can start small. Begin by exploring who you are and what makes you tick again. Get back in touch with the part of you that longs to play (that part of you that loves joy, but you’ve trained to feel frivolous) instead of work (that busy business of tackling the day-to-day).

On our weekenders, we use a series of coaching and masterclasses to help women quickly reconnect with their joy. You can take your time and do it in five minutes here and there though by carving out a little time to prioritise you and begin to journal. You could come up with your own list of questions, treat yourself to a copy of our journal and use the weekly journal prompts in their, or start with these:

• How did it feel before I lost myself?
• How/ when did it happen?
• What would it feel like if I could remind myself?